Guest post by Jay
We get emails from guys all the time who’ve read our stuff, or taken a course. Usually we get follow up questions from guys who are trying to dive even deeper into the material that we’ve covered, but every so often we get random thank you emails from guys who have seen a tremendous improvement in their dating lives. This write up came from a fella who took Martin’s Art and Science of Sex course and not only wanted to thank Martin for making his sex life that much better, he also wanted to tell guys exactly why they should take the course if and when it’s offered. For the record, I know this guy personally – he’s one of the most talented guys in Korea when it comes to meeting, dating, and then lovin’, Korean women.
The Art and Science of Sex Course doesn’t come around often, but it’s something that Martin loves to teach when he has the time.
The Art and Science of Sex Seminar
A few months back I took the Pickup Asia Art and Science of Sex Seminar. I’ve had some time to implement some of what I learned with both girls I’ve been seeing for a while and new girls, so I’ll talk about my progress as well as what I learned in the seminar.
When I first heard about the seminar, I wasn’t very motivated to jump at the opportunity. I didn’t think there was a great deal I was lacking since I had a very fulfilling sex life already with quality girls so I was quite satisfied already. As I became aware of some of my attitudes and actions that weren’t helping me, I also realized that there was a great deal I wanted to improve in the bedroom. I always thought I did a decent job with females behind closed doors, but it probably wasn’t anything more spectacular than other guys were doing. Plus, there were some skills I always wanted to learn, but never knew how to get good at them. I finally decided it was time to get this part of my game handled.
After reading the Sex Seminar write-up, I emailed Mrtin to confirm that what I was lacking would be covered in the seminar. He assured me those points would be addressed, and a date was set for us to meet.
The seminar was 2 days long, roughly 6-7 hours per day. I can’t remember what the scheduled time was, but we ended up going over both days (Saturday and Sunday). Once we got started, Martin gave us some background on his past and experiences, and briefly covered the background of the 3 seminar attendees. He would later reference our past and relate them to the topics he was covering.
Once the seminar got rolling, I was extremely impressed with the way Martin presented the material. He covered all of the points in detail to make sure we understood, and thoroughly covered all of our questions (which there were many). There were also quite a few topics that I had no idea existed, but are now some of my favorite to use. For example, he taught about something called “dirty compliance”, which I use with all of the girls I’m dating on a consistent basis. Having new and interesting things in the repertoire not only makes sex more fun and interesting, but it also gives you tremendous confidence in the bedroom.
Some of the issues I wanted to improve on which were covered in the seminar were:
- My frames on sex
- Framing sex in the relationship
- Uncovering girls’ thoughts on sex
- Anal sex
- Squirting orgasms
- Increasing variety
- Filming sex
All of these topics were covered in depth. There is a lot of material, so I’m still currently working on improving my skills in the bedroom. It will still be a while before I get a solid handle on the majority of these, but I’m enjoying the process. The good news is that just like the Approach Mastery boot camp, you get continuous support post-seminar. Martin has created a group for the Art and Science of Sex Seminar where alumni can post their experiences and read about what others are doing.
After completing the seminar, I put my newfound knowledge into action immediately (the evening I finished). Since then, I’ve been amazed at how the improvements I’ve made have had positive side-effects into other parts of my experiences with women. Here are a few that come to mind:
I did not think that my skills in the bedroom were very correlated to my ability to sexually escalate, but this seminar has actually helped me tremendously in that department. There have been 2 specific situations that I can think of where I’m not sure I would have progressed dates smoothly to sex if I didn’t take the seminar. The first example is a girl I’m still seeing now. I ran into some challenges with her on the first date. Normally I would have just kept trying to get her into bed until we had sex or she ran out of my house, but instead I was persistent but followed up by being sweet and caring. I also was much better prepared to uncover her real objections, and handle them in a way that would allow for her to feel comfortable having sex and continue to come back for more.
I also encountered a similar issue with a girl I met in Las Vegas. I had 2 consecutive nights where I brought her back to my room. On the first night, I brought her back, but we only went as far as kissing. The second night though, I was able to figure out what was holding her back from being comfortable and successfully reassure her about what was bothering her. The material that was covered in the seminar helped me become much more resourceful and understand women’s thoughts and emotional needs. The sex with her was also WAY better than it would have been normally, and she’s eager to come out to Korea for a visit.
I wanted to learn a variety of skills to use with women in the bedroom since I previously thought that I was running out of new things to try. In my experience, keeping things fresh in the bedroom is a critical part of maintaining the relationship. It’s also something that is mostly the responsibility of the man. Not only do I have more of a repertoire, but I almost feel like I’ll never run out of new things to try. Part of it is related to the fact that some of the progressions take quite a bit of time (and patience), but that’s great because it allows you to change things up on a regular basis. All that variety has had a positive impact on my confidence.
This might be the biggest change of them all. I always thought the sex with my girls was good, but since I started implementing what I’ve learned in the seminar, the sex has become amazing. Here are a few things that come to mind:
- Girls screaming much louder (and neighbors complaining)
- Girls requesting to have sex, even on their periods (previously they said they hated it)
- Girls telling me I make them crazy
- Girls telling me that they think that I go to Sex class instead of Korean class
- Girls showing their appreciation by doing things they never would previously do with me
The change in intensity and emotion during sex has been amazing. I can tell that we are much more closely connected, and that comes through in the quality of the sex. Girls used to occasionally give me grief if we’d have sex too often. That no longer comes up.
Overall the seminar far exceeded my expectations. It’s very extensive, and I would have paid more to take it. Handling issues in the bedroom takes a great weight off of your shoulders.
There is quite a lot for me to learn, but I know that I’ll continue to make progress as long as I keep interacting with Martin, asking questions, and getting feedback.
I can’t think of any negatives of the seminar. It really did cover everything I was expecting, and more. Just be prepared to take a lot of notes.
If you have any questions you’d like to ask me, I’d be happy to tell you my opinion.
Just a quick note before closing. Martin has written a lot on the importance of being good at sex in relationships. It doesn’t matter if you want to keep a girl around after a one-off late night romp, live out your sexual fantasies, or make sure your girlfriend doesn’t leave you (or bang another guy to get her fill, for that matter) – being good at sex is important, and there’s no better way to learn how than by getting personal, ongoing, coaching from him.