Apparently a lot of other guys have this same mindset. They discover that they can actually improve with women, they fumble through a few books, and then they spew out lines hoping that a few will hit their mark, and women will fall head-over-heels for them. Women just aren’t that dumb, though – if it really worked like that, then every guy would be having sex with hot women. While it is really important to know what to say, you can’t get there by rattling off a few “advanced pickup lines.”
Part of what we’re learning is the ability to read and understand social situations, and then knowing how to capitalize on them. During the great divide between boys and girls that exists throughout elementary school, girls begin to become educated in a way that most boys are totally oblivious to. They begin to notice, discuss, and learn how people act towards each other, what likely causes their behaviors, and what their actions and behaviors mean. They begin to observe and understand subtle changes in body language and voice tonality to an acute degree. In other words, girls become educated in the dynamics of human interactions, and this education continues long past elementary school. By the time guys start chasing girls, girls have become experts in relationships and sexually charged interactions to a degree that guys just can’t match.
Well, most guys, anyways.
Learning how to be skilled with women, in part, means righting this imbalance. It means catching up to women in terms of knowledge and understanding of relationship-dynamics. It means uncovering the roles that both sexes must play for optimal courtship. It means becoming skilled at bringing about situations that allow you to use your skills to begin and manage relationships with the women you chose. Once you get there, this knowledge and ability is no less than a super power.
But during the process of building skills and understanding, you also have to face fears and hang-ups that you otherwise wouldn’t have addressed. Any guy can learn a set of tactics and strategies then improve his love life within a short amount of time. Not only have I experienced this in my own life, I’ve seen it day in and day out as my friends, and their friends, struggle to do the same until they finally succeed… and keep succeeding. But this kind of development can only take you so far. By only learning what to say in certain situations to develop relationships with women, you really come at this area of your life with a single set of skills. You essentially become similar to an advancing army that only has foot soldiers. Your ability to adapt and change with shifting circumstances is limited and, in most dynamic personal interactions, this limitation will be your downfall. What if a novel new situation arises?
To really hone your skills, to really develop the ability to begin relationships with some of the highest quality women available, takes something more. It takes a slow and steady transformation of your character as you progress towards being a higher value guy, someone who possesses the intrinsic qualities that would attract those kinds of women in the first place. It also takes a deeper understanding of the processes at work, the psychological principles at play. When I look back at myself just a few years ago and compare the person who I was to the person I see in the mirror today, the change is striking. Reaching this point of personal development and growth means reaching a new level of being.