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by RedpoleQ

This is the second excerpt from the soon to be released book, The Perfect First Date, that I originally wrote back in 2008.  If you haven’t read the first excerpt, I strongly recommend that you take a look at that article before moving on to this one. The entire project originally came out of an interview I did, though I have taken the time to edit and expand on certain parts beyond what was in the original discussion.

First, some terminology:

  • Seed = to talk about a location or activity that you like in the hopes of taking her there some point later
  • Day 1 = the first time you meet
  • Day 2 = the first date
  • Day 3 = the second date
  • Full-close = sex
  • LMR = the last minute resistance to sex that most girls give before first having sex with a new guy

Day 2s, What Are They?

You are probably wondering, if you’ve never heard of the term, what a Day 2 is. Day 2 is the second time that you meet a girl. The Day 1 would be the initial meet where you first walk up to her and talk to her at a coffee shop, bar, club, mall, restaurant or party, and the Day 2 is when you set up another time to meet her.

Ideally in that initial meet you set up the next time you’ll meet her. If not, you’ll likely find yourself having to play telephone tag as you try to set up the meet by telephone or one of the many messaging apps. But we’re going to talk about how to avoid that, so that you often have the Day 2, the second meet, already setup before you end that first interaction with her.

Why do we call them Day 2s? Most people call them first dates, but we call them Day 2s and the reason we call them that is because we want to really get way from the dating frame. In western culture and actually not only in western culture—in western culture and in most of Asia barring a handful of countries like North Korea that

haven’t internationalized, there is a concept of dating that’s really about the guy putting on a dog and pony show for the girl.

selfish geneHe’s basically trying to impress her enough for the girl to be like, “Oh! Okay I guess I’ll sleep with this guy”. There is a lot of discussion about the courting process in the evolutionary psychology books out there like, The Red Queen, and The Selfish Gene that go into detail about how those dynamics play out, so we won’t go into too much detail about them here.

Keep This in Mind at All Times

The most important thing to realize is that there are two categories that women are looking for when they are selecting men: genetic benefits and resource benefits.

What we want to do is make sure that we play to our strengths and even more importantly, present what we have in the best possible way and to do that in the best possible way we need to get away from that frame and we want to do that for a couple of reasons.

One reason is that women often have rules of thumb—like, “I sleep with guys on the third date”, or something like that so by spending time with her in ways that are not so date-y and that don’t really fit into the normal dating category, you short circuit some of the rules that they may have. You’ll be coming at it from a slightly different angle than what most guys are doing. That right there is going to set you apart which is one of the key things in being successful with women.

Sex, for example, is only the beginning of one part of the relationship, the sexual relationship, which is only one part of the total relationship. By calling the initial meet the Day 1, the second meet the Day 2 and so on, we’re setting a better frame for ourselves that this as a continuing process—a continuous accumulation of “days” that we choose to be with a person.

So…. Why Change?

We want to get you away from the pop-culture idea of dates, so you’re not thinking, “Okay, this is a date.  That means dinner the red queenand a movie.” We don’t want you to have that kind of thinking at all. So, what we’re going to be doing over the course of this book is talk about how to set up Day 2s, how to plan them, what kinds of things you need to be doing during the Day 2 for it to progress as far as possible—and when I say as far as possible I mean as close to the beginning of a sexual relationship as possible—and ideally we want the Day 2 to end with sex. It may not be possible for various reasons, like logistics for example, but we want to try and handle things as much as possible so that it can easily and smoothly lead to there.

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Don’t forget to check out RedpoleQ’s new book, The Perfect First Date, so you can spark sexual relationships with the women you want!


  • Karl Lee

    Hey RedpoleQ. I’m sure you expand on dating in your articles later on but I’m curious. I’m familiar with the whole concept of either being slotted into a “provider” role or a “lover” role based on how you approach the first few dates with a girl.

    But when you guys and other asian dating sites talk about the values that asian girls try to look for in a guy, they all seem to be provider values. Good job, good intentions (committed to them) etc. whereas adventure, risk taking things are almost viewed in a negative context. So which values should we be displaying in order to get put into the lover role in a date with an asian woman?

    • I don’t think that you need to worry about being slotted into the provider vs. the lover in Asia so much. Because sex isn’t considered an important factor in relationships, and since sex isn’t something that they feel they’re supposed to enjoy.

      They much more focused on being practical, so instead of an either or, if you can be more of the “lover” with enough of the “provider” that you’re not a bad long term option, you’ll be all set.

      So, I’d say that here it’s not an either/or proposition.

      Thanks for your comment!

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