aloof

by RedpoleQ

When I first heard about “game” I was living in Osaka, Japan. My crew of friends and I were all about picking up women and we had a very machine-gun-like approach to the process. We were all about working the law of averages, knowing that if we talked to enough girls, at some point we’d find a keen girl. We did have a few tactic in place but those were very situational, like how to make sure that your girl put in for the bill without making things awkward. Care to guess how?

What we didn’t have was any over-arching theory, strategy, or system that went beyond “try again,” so when we heard of “game” we immediately started applying the principles. It wasn’t long until we noticed some wide disconnects that, I gradually came to realize, sabotaged some of the best relationships I ever had. It also caused me to leave a lot of get-able girls on the table.

The Secret to Asian Bodies

Many western guys, who are good with women back home, land in Asia and are dumbstruck by the “loser” local guys they see with the beautiful women they want.  The basic concept that runs through all  “pickup” theories and “game” back in the West, the concept that will destroy your chances with Asian women, goes by many names. “Be the prize,” “make girls chase,” “show disinterest,” “make her invest in the interaction,” and more will get you nowhere, very, very fast.

meet and date foundations coverAsian girls take their dating lives very seriously in a way that western women don’t. Dating is not primarily a fun activity on the way to love. Dating is, conversely, a series of try outs for marriage – and marriage is important because who she marries will determine her future life situation and that of her offspring more than anything else, save for the family situation she was born into.

In the West, if a woman wants to travel the world, buy designer clothes, and live in a big house, people will tell her to go work her way up the corporate ladder. But, Asia is a traditional place where a woman secures her future by marrying a guy who can provide all the things she wants. If you’re like many foreigners, you scoff at them for doing this and accuse them of being gold diggers. Before you get all upset, remember that it’s this dynamic that keeps Asian women thin, fashionable, and willing to please the men they date.

When they find a good guy, they want to put him on lock down and they work extra hard to secure that one ring to rule them all. If you’re still upset, it’s probably because you’ve bought into the myth that you will find a girl that will love you for who you are. Sorry to piss on your parade, buddy, but there is no such thing unless she’s your mom, and even then it’s a crap shoot. A woman is only with you because of the experience you provide. That’s it.

How to Ruin Your Chances in Asia

Now, in the West, where women know that sex is freely available, trying to get sex is the mark of a guy who doesn’t have any options …and so women spurn him. In Asia, though, trying is an indicator not of desperation but of real interest. While I believe that’s partially because the acceptability of prostitution in Asia as a means for satisfying sexual urges which means that “normal” women are not the only or even the best sexual option, there is another part and that is that women chasing a man will ruin her chances of being able to get that man for more than sex.

In Asia, sex is a means to an end. Women use sex as one of the lures to lock men down in relationships. Sex is not an end in and of itself. Asian women aren’t looking for sexual satisfaction when they date though it is definitely a bonus. What they want is a guy who genuinely likes and wants to be with them… so, stop being aloof and start showing interest. SHOW MORE INTEREST!

As a general rule, getting women in Asia = image (status displays or looks) + trying hard (calling/texting, saying how much you like her, promising a future together) + alcohol (the secret sauce a lot of Asian guys use to create the right situation but not a tactic we’d touch here at Asian Dating Monthly. Besides, we’d end up drunk most nights of the week).

Don’t be Beta

The western guys that I’ve spoken to consider a lot of the above behaviours beta but is it really beta if it gets you the Asian girl you want …and ultimately does make you the prize? At Asian Dating Monthly, our goal is to hack the system to get maximum return on our efforts and that means first understanding the system and learn its weaknesses. After that, it’s a simple matter of exploiting those weaknesses. Beta doesn’t mean what you think it does and showing interest in Asian women will get you further than any displays of active dis-interest ever will.

Oh, and what about getting her to pay her half? At the register, “forget” something back at your table and leave her there at the cashier. By the time you get back, 9 times out of 10, she’ll have paid the bill so you can then “pay her back” your half later.

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There is a lot more to know when it comes to dating Asian women. A lot of it comes down to vast differences in culture. If you want to make the most of your dating life in Asia then make sure to pick up my book, “Meet and Date Asian Women: Foundations”. It’s available on Amazon and will definitely make your dating life far smoother. Click here now and pick up a copy so you can start dating the Asian women you want!


  • Cpt Morgan

    Nice, best post yet…I don’t agree completely, but I think the calibration here is more towards your emphasis than the “alpha” for Western girls.

    • RedpoleQ

      Thanks for your comment. Would you care to elaborate?

  • Vision

    Definitely. Switching from Western women to Asian women takes practice, especially the showing interest part. Really key. It feels strange at first but pays off once you do it tactfully.

    • RedpoleQ

      What I’m wondering is how difficult it would be for me to switch the other way…

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  • Blu Soulstn

    Another good method for dating Asian women is to meet as many “aunties” as you can. Unlike in the west there is a huge drive to set family and friends up with potential partners… Meeting an auntie will set off a chain reaction of phone calls and connections and the dates will practically get made for you. I met one lady and was charming and polite and not 15 minutes later I was talking to her niece on HER phone lol

    • This will work in only some Asian countries…in most of developed Asia, they’d rather women marry locals, but this could work well in developing Asia though.

  • Youl

    I only tried taiwanese and koreans during a year in Australia.
    I have been more succesfull than in my european country for sure.

    But the process stay the same to me :
    -1) Say hello
    2) She likes you -> get her
    2bis) She does not -> try another one

    That’s it.

    • You can definitely run it purely as a numbers game if you’re happy with the results that that gets you.

      If not though, then you should probably work on a developing a strategy…